Sunday Morning in Middle Age
Before stepping into the
shower I remember
a segment from the Nightly News where researchers
in some prestigious university
discovered the number
of push-ups a man can do
has a direct correlation
to the likelihood of
developing heart disease
so as the shower ran and
the mirrors misted up
I hit the deck to
determine when I would die,
my palms pressed to the
tiles, my arms shaking.
If I could hit twenty,
I’d reduce my chance of a stroke
by sixty-four percent,
according to the researchers.
There’s no suspense here,
folks. After ten push-ups,
I dropped flat to my belly
on the bathroom rug, done.
A forty-three year old man,
found dead in a bathroom
in his boxer shorts
beside a toilet—an ugly obituary.
Nathan Graziano
lives in Manchester, New Hampshire, with his wife and kids. His books include Teaching Metaphors (Sunnyoutside Press),
After the Honeymoon (Sunnyoutside
Press) Hangover Breakfasts (Bottle of
Smoke Press in 2012), Sort Some Sort of
Ugly (Marginalia Publishing in 2013), and My Next Bad Decision (Artistically Declined Press, 2014). Almost Christmas, a collection of short
prose pieces, was published by Redneck Press in 2017. Graziano writes a
baseball column for Dirty Water Media
in Boston. For more information, visit his website: www.nathangraziano.com.
Good Work Nathan - I recommend reps, 10 in the morning, 10 afternoon and 5 evening, 5 night - likely able to increase last to rounds if the Sox win.
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