Tobi Alfier

Litany

I am mercy’s wayward apprentice.
I am the dubious truant of grace.
I kneel at the Stations of the Cross,
then climb through the shreds of a fading downpour.
I am the late sun that flames through a window.
I am a cityscape of wind through the alleys.
I am a desert highway fringed by meadows
where fields and blossoms unfold into radiance.
I am a clock that needs to be wound.
I am a cello that plays in the evenings,
ushers in nightfall’s infallible silence,
and the sweet scent of creosote in the pitch dark.
I am a love you may almost remember,
your mind lazing loose in imaginary elsewheres.
There is no amnesty for ancient sorrows,
I am the galleon, sinking, still vanishing.

Winter Tourist

Once, in another winter, in a village
by a seaside with different accents
than mine, waves crash dark against
the shore and over the breakwater,
a woman in a red coat hurries through
her realm of kith and kin:

fishermen just docked—nets and boxes
brim with still moving catches for pubs
and homes, restaurants fine and common,
children walk to school with grannies,
their uniforms bolstered with hand—knit
scarves, hot bao from the Chinese bakery

in each pocket to warm their hands,
schoolwork in backpacks bear
the latest superhero and ballerina—
other women in bright coats with smoky
exhales bustle on their way to bank work
or as nurses at the clinic.

Wind carries the iron voice of cathedral bells
through the streets, an undertone
and melody for morning birds,
their sweetness drowned by crows
and seagulls, gangs protecting
territories, criminal versus delicate.

I am but a tourist here, brought by my love
of coastal roads, my curiosity of lives
touched by the sea, by the winter.
Laughter floats from half-shuttered
windows. Crimeless payphones ring.
I could’ve traveled half a year to find you.

Tobi Alfier is a multiple Pushcart nominee and multiple Best of the Net nominee. “Slices of Alice & Other Character Studies” was published by Cholla Needles Press. “Symmetry: earth and sky” was just published by Main Street Rag. She is co-editor of San Pedro River Review (www.bluehorsepress.com).

Tobi Alfier

Loving Emily

I went to her house.

You were lounged on her couch

in a jacket I didn’t know you owned,

feet up on her shabby table,

reading in silence.

I said let’s call Emily,

swing by her man’s house

and all meet for dinner.

You said something

I don’t recall, and I went

for the phone. On the floor,

four perfect stapled pages,

lined like your beloved

yellow pads. The heading said:

“The Week of Loving Emily”

Four pages of poems I didn’t know,

sent off to journals obscure to me,

the last two to the army. I knew

Emily’s man, a caber tossing

roughneck of a bloke, did not

write these. I knew they were yours.

Emily answered quite chirpy,

got less and less so as she explained

that no, it would not be a good

idea, her man was playing music

with friends, did not want company—

I was sad, got more and more down

as she spoke. I knew you were

not coming home with me.

Emily had a Scottish accent,

you did as well. I just left,

I don’t know how I sounded,

just broken hearted.

Massage Chairs

Crumpled – dollars pulled out of your pocket,

thrown on the table with almost disdain.

The way you form your lips when trying to

whistle, crooked and crumpled.  How I

feel when I fold myself on the massage chair,

legs turned under like the wings

of a bird fallen from under the eaves before

learning to fly.  Palms up in quiet surrender

I let everything go, folded and breathing

while a man who I don’t know

lifts my hair once, twice, and

lays palms to places only lovers should explore.

You don’t go there.  Ever?  I can’t remember.

I share secrets I don’t even know.

Tobi Alfier is a multiple Pushcart nominee and multiple Best of the Net nominee. Her full-length collection “Somewhere, Anywhere, Doesn’t Matter Where” was published by Kelsay Books. “Slices of Alice & Other Character Studies” was published by Cholla Needles Press. She is co-editor of San Pedro River Review (www.bluehorsepress.com).