CONNOQUENESSING CREEK
Two days after my father died, somewhere in Center Township,
we pulled off the interstate to get closer to the waterway
whose name for years I held between my teeth
like a wrist, like a prayer.
Connoquenessing means for a long way straight. The creek
twists and curls and crawls from the Beaver River
through the Oneida Valley Reservoir then back to
the Beaver River some fifty-seven miles later.
Train tracks hemmed the creek where we stood, a nest
of rusted railroad spikes at our feet. Connoquenessing means
for a long way straight. The current flowed without shame. Cars
passed over the nearby bridge. The late afternoon light hung
hazy and thick, a chiffon shroud. I bent down to touch
the water as one always must. The shock of the cold
didn’t shock me so much. In the water
I felt nothing. I stepped back defeated.
Connoquenessing means for a long way straight.
How often does meeting our hero disappoint us? It was too late
to keep the creek a dream; with touch it became real. Three days
of losses. Three days of never getting that back. Once listed as
one of the most polluted waterways in America, but not
any longer. Had the creek been cleansed or had other rivers
become more polluted? There are multiple ways to lose the crown.
Connoquenessing means for a long way straight.
My father’s death meant grief, meant freedom, meant no longer
having to face how much of a disappointment I’ve been:
unbeliever, leftist, artist, seeking adventure. Had I been cleansed
or had other people become more polluted? Connoquenessing
means for a long way straight. I didn’t want the crown. I left it
there on the bank of the Connoquenessing. This time I would
father myself. This time I would pardon myself and I
pardoned myself: dropped my sin and went a long way straight.
Shae Krispinsky lives in Tampa, FL, where she fronts the band, Navin Avenue, whose sound she describes as Southern Gothic 70s-arena indie rock with a pop Americana twist. Her fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry have appeared in Connotation Press, Thought Catalog, The Dillydoun Review, Vending Machine Press, Sybil Journal and more. She is currently working on her band's second album and a novel.
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